We are bought up in a world that teaches us to ignore the unconscious mind, the goose bumps and the chills that we get when we know instinctively that something is not right.
I have realised that when I meet someone and for no other reason than I feel that uneasy feeling they more than likely are an untrustworthy, unhealthy person for me.. I have made so many wrong turns because, it seemed like the right thing to do for someone else.
Stepping up and taking control of my life, following my gut, my heart, my head... I am going to live more instinctively, and most importantly, teach my children the same. To be a selfless mother and wife, in order to have a healthy functioning family life.
There are so many circumstances where children are given the brush off, "just do it, because I asked you to", Giving them no explanation, other than, "I asked you to". They are not our employee's, we had them because we wanted them. We dot not pay them to be here and do work for us. They are here for our enjoyment, to share our lives with, they are part of us, so why treat them any other way than the way that you want to be treated.
On Friday I went along to a Mem Fox Presentation, Mem Fox is a well knows children author, she wrote, possum magic, wombat divine, the magic hat... and so on.
Her presentation was uplifting and full of abrupt home truths. She is an amazing woman, an inspiration. She spoke about reading aloud to your children, from birth to 4years every day, three times a day. In that time your child would have been read 1000 books, or 1000 times.
If you can not read to your child for 10 minutes a day, then why have children at all? It enrages me that people have children and don't make the time for them. Is it not common sense that when you have child there are sacrifices, in every aspect of your life, sleeping patterns, eating, exercise, social life, money matters, work, and even your prized possessions get packed away from the inquisitive little hands...
Its all about balance, and getting your priorities right. By no means am I perfect mother, I have had my fair share of neglectful days, where I am so tired and just can not be bothered.
Happiness is in the now. Right now in this very moment, I am ecstatic at the pumpkin soup I have been presented with made out of gluey cut up paper, and fluff balls, that my 4 year old has made me. She sat down and thought of her mother while making this absolutely Delicious interpretation of my magic pumpkin soup.
Children are a blessing, and we as parents need to make choices, based on instinct and knowledge. The way we where raised is a huge factor, but we know what is right and what is wrong. Raising your hand at a child is.. not only wrong, but it teaches them, that's the way you deal with anger.
It most certainly is not ideal, and I think that there are times when you catch yourself in a fit of rage over something as small as the 23rd time you have had to clean permanent marker off you kitchen table, vertical blinds, freezer or fridge. Its not the child's fault, it is yours, for leaving the temptation lying around, for the little hands to find and go for gold on your family possessions, they are just that a possession, simply a superficial ornament that makes life and your house look the part.
We are raising children in a modern society where there is so much information that we must cypher through, and form our own opinions based on the information that we gather.
Parenting today tomorrow and yesterday is a reward in itself. But we must make the most of every day, and if we can go to bed and know that we have done our best, we have spent quality time with them, and taught them how to deal with daily situations, encouraged them to be themselves and nurtured their personalities, that is the best we can do.
It might sound like a lot, and it is, but that is what parenting is about. Its being a provider, a friend and a teacher.
I am struggling today to find balance, as I am sure 10 thousand other mothers are. My children are playing happily with their craft goodness, and I am here working through my thoughts.
If there is one thing that I can get from this session of bloggyness.. is that I need to follow my instincts, instead of letting my anger get the better of me, or allowing something or someone to upset me. I need to accept that life is hard, and its not getting any easier. I need to enjoy every moment with my children, and thank god they are healthy and happy, and to know the importance of parent child bonding.
Some wise words from Mem Fox, gives me hope that one day people will accept the plain hard facts, hopefully not too late.
"The reaction. It's quite normal for people, when we’re threatened by an inconvenient truth, to react with rage, then denial, and then ridicule of the person who relayed the news. Eventually acceptance follows".
1 comment:
Such captivating reading. You take in so much from around you sharing it with others, using this in your everyday life. A good mother, wife and daughter you put into practice so much of what you talk about and that makes life all worth while.
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