Passionate about fitness

Your happiness doesn't reside in the future - it's right here, right now!

I have so much I want to write about, I think thats why I have come back for the third time today.

I am lacking passion... I just googled: becoming more passionate. What I found was, a few home truths. One being the little quote that I pasted just up the top there ^.

I am on this 12 week challenge that I have restarted once and put on hold and now restarted again. I really am more than just a bit of a procastinator. I tend to get out of things too easily, I talk myself out of my workouts, I tell myself there is always a way to start agian,l instead of just working through the obstacles. I run away from everything that seems to hard. Most things, other than my children go into the "too hard basket". I am a constant dissapointment to myself. Every day I prove that I have not overcome this really not so good attribute I hold.

I was so pumped that I got through a very difficult 90 minutes in extreme heat when I took my first Bikram Yoga class just this saturday gone. I thought this was the beginning of something new. I would love to go back. I dont like to dissapoint other people, but I so easily dissapoint myself.

I feel like I have to figure out why I am like this, to justify to myself that its ok that I dont finish ANYTHING.

When I was 13 going on 14 I moved away from my family for about 10 months, as I was getting myself into alot of trouble in school. Maybe this is where it started.... I got to get away from the shit, and then when everything went pear shaped there, I moved away again. I then started at my 6th school and began to get into more trouble again, I left school started a traineeship in something I though I really wanted to do. I think there was a bit of a hidden agenda there, thinking that this job would lead to what I really wanted to do. But Then I never studied, never got my tafe work done, I continued to worry about boys and not my school work. I then fell pregnant 2 weeks after my 18th birthday. Not a bad thing.... Had I have stayed in my job and not left when I was 5 months pregnant I would have actually finished something.

I have started and not finished so much since then.

Now this 12 week challenge... I have to do this, I have to give it my best shot.. FOR ME... noone else.